What if the most effective way to help children learn is to stop pushing them to grow up so fast?
That question anchors my conversation with Catherine Korah from the Centre of Excellence for Behaviour Management, an organization that supports all ten English school boards in Québec. Her perspective is both calming and quietly disruptive: when children feel secure with the adults around them and have space for genuine play, development unfolds on its own timeline—and learning follows.
In schools, behaviour is often treated as something to manage or correct. Catherine invites us to see it differently. From a developmental lens, behaviour is communication. When a child struggles to sit still, follow instructions, or cope with frustration, it’s rarely defiance. More often, it’s a sign that the child hasn’t yet developed the internal capacities we’re asking for. Pushing harder in those moments can increase stress and resistance. Slowing down, building connection, and adjusting expectations can do the opposite.
Much of our conversation centres on play—what it is, and what it isn’t. True play, Catherine explains, is freely chosen, internally motivated, and directed by the child. When adults add goals, outcomes, or constant praise, play quietly turns into work. The child’s attention shifts away from imagination and toward performance. Over time, creativity narrows and engagement fades, even though the activity may still look “fun” from the outside.
There’s a neurological reason this matters. Unstructured, absorbing play activates the brain’s right hemisphere, supporting emotional regulation, rhythm, movement, and imagination. This foundation is what prepares children for the left-brain demands of reading, writing, and detailed academic work later on. When academics are pushed too early, before this groundwork is in place, learning can become brittle. Protecting play doesn’t delay readiness—it strengthens it.
Centre of Excellence for Behaviour Management. (2018). Looking at 4-year-old behaviour differently. CEBM. https://www.cebmmember.ca/k4-k5-corner
The conversation also turns to screens, lingering post-pandemic stress, and the growing number of school phone bans. For many children, especially those who feel disconnected or overwhelmed, devices have become a fast, reliable way to avoid boredom and simulate connection. When phones are removed without replacing what they were providing, a void opens up. Dysregulation often rushes in to fill it. Catherine argues that limits matter, but they only work when paired with relationship and meaningful alternatives.
Those alternatives don’t need to be elaborate. Art materials left accessible, spaces for drama and imaginative play, music and movement woven into the day, outdoor time that isn’t over-structured, and predictable rituals with caring adults can all act as powerful regulators. These moments build attachment, restore curiosity, and help children feel safe enough to engage.
Catherine frames support as a tiered approach: consistent routines and play opportunities for everyone, targeted relational supports for some, and intensive intervention for a few. But underneath every tier is the same truth—adult wellbeing matters. Stressed, depleted adults can’t offer the regulated presence children need to grow. Supporting students begins with supporting the people who care for them.
If you’ve ever noticed how a class settles after a slow transition, a shared laugh, or a moment of unhurried play, this conversation gives language to that experience. It offers reassurance that slowing down isn’t a failure of rigor—it’s an act of wisdom.
Sometimes, the fastest way forward is to stop rushing and let development do what it’s designed to do.
